My Spiritual Journey: How I Got To Where I Am Today

My first recollection of suffering from anxiety was my freshman year of high school. I remember the day vividly like it was yesterday. It was out of nowhere, sitting in my kitchen when I started to have heart palpitations, my heart was racing and murmuring. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was having a heart attack. A few days later, I went to see a specialist who ran an EKG test and recommended wearing a portable heart monitor for two weeks. The device was strapped to my waist like a belt, with hidden wires under my shirt. Being a freshman in a new school, totally cramped my style.

My friends didn’t get it, they made fun of me when we were out and no one believed that anything was wrong with me. I honestly didn’t even believe it myself. I had to visit the nurse twice a day, once in the AM and once before going home, where she listened to my monitor for any unusual sounds.

The tests showed a slight murmur but nothing serious and believed that it was stress-related. I realized that I was having my first panic attack. I started to calm myself down with healing techniques while also acknowledging when I was feeling anxious and not running from it. But to know my full spiritual journey, let’s rewind back to 8-year-old me.

CHILDHOOD

Crystals 

Since I can remember, my Bubby, AKA, Jewish Grandmother, has been a huge part of my spiritual and mindful journey. When I felt uneasy or sick, she would give me her crystals to hold on to for relaxing and providing me strength and safety. She would explain what each stone meant and how it would help my different emotions. We visited crystal stores and I would pick out my own stones based on what felt right to me. My favorites were amethyst & rose quartz.

Reiki 

My bubby would “heal” me with the warmth of her hands gently raised over my body without touching me. I swear, I would immediately feel better. She explained to me what Reiki was, and even took me to get certified. This modality has stuck with me ever since.

Rei (spiritual consciousness) ki (life force) is a Japanese holistic medicine for balancing energy and healing. We would go once a week for sessions to this place hidden in the woods called Hannah Laura’s Reiki Studio. I was part of the “Little Hands” program to help younger people become reiki certified. I would receive attunements that allowed me to practice on myself and others. Once you are certified, you have the ability to channel Reiki for life.

A little over two years ago, I got re-attuned in Reiki levels 1 & 2 so I could refresh my memory, heal myself, and help heal others. This is part of my daily practice that I incorporate into my own healing.

Yoga

Once I started dealing with anxiety, I sought stress management by attending yoga classes. It stuck with me throughout college, where I took Yoga as a course my freshman year. I never really used Yoga as a form of fitness, but rather a mechanism for stress relief by utilizing my breath. To this day, mindful movement has been a part of my practice that allows me to come back to my body and the present moment.

COLLEGE YEARS 

Aromatherapy

I first discovered aromatherapy from my mom, we would go to a natural food and supplement store and pick out oil scents for different stresses and moods. She bought me a diffuser for my college apartment and my roommates and I used it as if we were in a mini spa, escaping from the stress of school and deadlines. I still use this to help me fall asleep to this day. A fun fact that I never shared is that 4 years ago I visited an aromatic center for an event with a brand and the Founder Amy Galper was there leading it. She is a renowned-led expert in the clean beauty and aromatherapy space and sits on the board of Credo Beauty, helping to formulate for brands and determine which brands pass the clean beauty standards. I became so enthralled by her work that I began consulting for her helping to build her social media strategy. At one point, I even formulated a few blends with her that I wanted to sell but decided that was not my path. Who knows, maybe one day I will have my own essential oil line.

Chiropractor- Nutritional Response Testing

On my summers off from school, I would visit a holistic chiropractor in my hometown. He adjusted me to help correct my posture. I also received foot detoxes that literally drain the chemicals and toxins out of your body through your feet. The water turns from clear to yellow, to green to black within a matter of minutes. Pretty gruesome stuff, but it made me feel great. My favorite treatment was nutritional response testing AKA muscle testing. It’s hard to explain this process, but it helps test imbalances in your body through your muscles and how they respond. From there, they use supplements and vitamins to see how the muscles react.

My results: digestive issues, and a build-up of toxicity in my body, specifically formaldehyde (probably from toxic products I was using- aka hair dye, nail polish, etc). *This was my first hint to rid the toxic products from my life.* This toxicity was causing headaches, sugar cravings, anxiety, and more. This stuck with me throughout the years as I would go every 6 months for check-ups all throughout college. When I was in NYC, I found an amazing doctor who a few other women in the space were also patients of. She has healed and helped so many people and while I didn’t get fully “healed”, I learned a lot and am grateful for the experience and whole heartily believe in its magic.

Chakra Meditation

College was difficult for me because I lacked self-care. In the summers, I was able to rejuvenate myself and had the opportunity to try chakra meditation. Chakras are the 7 main energy points in the body. When one is off, it can affect different parts of your body and energy.

I worked with a holistic practitioner, who performed reiki to open up my chakras. She would use a pendulum to see which chakras were open and closed. It would go in a counterclockwise position at the beginning of the session indicating that some of my chakras were closed. After the session, the pendulum moved rapidly in clockwise circles, which meant she had realigned and opened them. The only chakra that was always open was my third eye chakra AKA my intuition, creativity, and insight (I am very intuitive). I always walked out feeling grounded and more aligned with my soul. Today, chakras have been a huge part of what I personally practice on myself. Part of my daily alignment is to check in with these energy centers and notice which are imbalanced and need support. With the power of reiki and other rituals, I work to bring them back to balance. Want to get yours realigned? Check out my 1:1 services.

Non-toxic living

I took a blog course in college, where I learned how to use WordPress. This piqued my interest in blogging and I started my own site for living a healthier lifestyle, that no one knew about. I would write about healthy recipes and homemade skincare. I was always doing unusual things like making my own soap on our stovetop, my own deodorant, and face masks out of natural foods in our kitchen. I have always had an interest in this non-toxic lifestyle and over the years this interest has grown. I’m excited how living mindfully has become more normalized and people are caring about their health.

TODAY

In the present moment, I am more spiritual and in tune with my soul than ever before. I have taken the tools I learned with me as a child, and brought them into my adult life. I use yoga and meditation to relieve my stress, I attend wellness events, summits, and retreats. I use my aromatherapy oils, crystals, and sage. I get naturally high with infrared saunas, cupping therapy, and acupuncture. I take care of my body by eating natural and organic food when I can and following a diet for my gut health that has impacted my quality of life. To me, spiritual health and holistic wellth is doing what feels best for me every day.

Over the years, I have become more interested in Astrology and Human Design, understanding more about my unique energetic makeup. I try to live a mindful life with things that lift my vibes, hanging with people who align with my energy, practicing daily rituals, and deepening my spiritual practice. I now am seeing professional help with a therapist to help me with more mindfulness and coping with my daily anxieties. Alongside this, I am always working on my shadows and triggers through hypnosis and reprogramming my subconscious. This has been one of the most powerful tools that I believe we all can use to actually change our mindsets and lives.

Remember, you are not alone. You are NOT your anxiety. You are on your OWN journey and are exactly where you are supposed to be. If you need help, reach out to your community. Work with me 1:1 to support your alignment and find your guide within.